By Robert Morgan | Published Sunday, July 20, 2008
There is never a dull moment in sports when it comes to the sideline and bleacher chatter. From the coaches and officials to fans and parents, if you sit in the right place you can hear some of the craziest - yet funniest - comments around.
Between working on the upcoming football preview section and coaching in some recent big select basketball tournaments, a lot of infamous sports clich s keep ringing in my mind.
Therefore, I decided to write them down and decipher just what they mean. Now, I want to share them with you.
Here is a tongue-in-cheek look at some of the game time and post-game comments you'll hear around any stadium or gymnasium.
The politically correct coaches
"It was a great effort"
We showed up and did an okay job but we could have done a lot better; I'm just playing it safe because I don't want to upset any mommas by saying that.
"We played hard"
If we only had a few more good players we would have won the game.
"We are improving every week"
There aren't enough practices left in the season for us to be good enough to make the playoffs. Teams are just taking it easy on us now by playing more subs, so the score wasn't as bad as it was last time we played them.
"I know we have every starter back this season but it's going to be tough making the playoffs this year. Every team in our district will be tough"
We will wax every team we play but I'm not a fan of giving bulletin board material to our foes.
The inconsistent game officials
"I'll look for it next time coach"
Shut up coach! How about I do my job and you do yours?
"Coach, we are not discussing that call"
I sure blew that one but I'll tell you what: I'll make up for it on the next play.
"That's not my call to make, it's the other guy's"
My partner has been officiating longer than I have so there is no way I'm going to step on any toes here.
The sappy mommy
"Those parents on that team are just jealous"
We kicked their butts and I can't wait to wear my big ol' smile when I see them at bunko on Thursday
"Come on ref! Let 'em play!"
When my child returns the shove-to-the-floor play on the next possession, you better swallow that whistle because our family don't take this stuff lightly.
"I'm so proud of you"
You are so amazing! I love you.
The proud daddy
"If you break your leg don't come running to me"
Be careful out there ... our health insurance has a $500 deductible.
"It's not whether or not you win or lose it's how you play the game"
You need to spend more time in the gym.
"You could do anything if you set your mind to it"
Son, you don't have a chance in this game so please don't get hurt and we'll just try to win the next one.
"No pain, no gain"
I worked twice as hard as you on the family farm back in the day so suck it up because this is where we separate the men from the women.
"Look it up in the dictionary"
Are you kidding? I don't even know how to spell it so to explain it to you is out of the question.
"Hey ref! Look it up in your rule book!"
I coached Pee Wee football so I think I know what I'm talking about.
