After traveling almost 30 miles on U.S. 81/287 and Texas 114, a red traffic light stopped me for the first time on what had so far been an uneventful trip.
I confess that I may have driven a few miles over the speed limit.
I also confess that I was so completely engrossed with the "Outlaw Country" music of Hank Williams Sr., Merle Haggard and Waylon Jennings on my satellite radio that I had no ability to hear anything happening around me.
As it happens, something very unusual was happening.
As soon as I stopped at the traffic light, I heard a cat screaming underneath my truck - it was the same cat I had heard nearby before leaving Decatur, but never quite saw.
Oh jeez!
Some stupid cat made its way underneath my truck and was probably dying in agony because it got caught up in my engine or some other moving piece of machinery, I thought!
My mind turned to the scene from "National Lampoon's Vacation" where Clark Griswald drove his car several hundred miles across the country, having completely forgotten that he tethered a dog to the vehicle shortly before he started driving. The dopey Clark Griswald dragged the poor dog to its death without even knowing it.
I had other visions as well.
This incident would be public record, and cat lovers would start mailing death threats to my home.
The nutjobs from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals would protest outside my apartment and call for the authorities to send me to prison, probably solitary confinement.
I drove slowly to the nearest parking lot, which was outside a grocery store, got out of my truck and heard as the screams got louder in intensity. I couldn't see anything underneath my pickup. I wasn't sure I wanted to.
I panicked and called 911.
No sooner had I explained my situation to the 911 dispatcher than I saw not a cat, but a tiny gray kitten jump out from underneath the truck. It immediately wrapped itself around my legs as I spoke with the dispatcher.
I put the kitten in the back of my pickup truck as I waited for animal control to arrive. I never checked the sex of the animal, but it was a frisky little thing that didn't want to remain in the back of my pickup.
I had been driving in excess of 70 mph, and I don't know how the cat managed to hang on for so long without falling out onto the highway and meeting a grisly death.
The woman from Roanoke's animal control arrived less than 10 minutes later. She took an instant liking to the kitten, which she said was "cute" and she would name "Lucky."
She took the kitten away, and I was sure it would go to a good home with a family that loves it.
After telling my story and showing the photos I took of the kitten during our very brief time together, everybody wants to know why I wouldn't keep it.
The answer is simple - I'm not a cat person.
I don't hate cats.
Cats are fine ... they're just not my cup of tea!
I'm more of a dog person and expect in the distant future to adopt a golden retriever, whom I will name Rufus, once I'm able to offer it a big backyard. My small apartment simply won't do for a large dog.
I live directly across the street from the Messenger office in Decatur, where stray cats are a big problem. One recently started hanging around my front door after I made the mistake of feeding it. Again, in that circumstance, I called animal control because I had no interest in taking care of it.
Some of my friends also thought it was horrible of me to call animal control for the other cat as well.
I wouldn't have to do things like this if pet owners would just follow the advice of a man who is so brilliant that certain people swear he is not so much a man as much as he is a myth. He is a man so wise that people should swim majestic rivers and climb imposing mountains just to hear his sage advice.
That man's name is Bob Barker.
Yes, the former host of "The Price is Right."
Pet lovers would all be wise to follow this man's simple advice:
"Spay and neuter your pet."
Especially if it's a cat!
There are far too many of those things wandering around my neighborhood!
Writer's note: I'm moments away from deadline, and my editor just asked me to call the city of Roanoke in case the Messenger receives any phone calls from readers wanting to adopt the kitten. Unfortunately, I was informed that animal control officers had to euthanize the kitten because it had "severe respiratory problems."
