Worth the weight
Morgan is half the man he used to be

By ROBERT MORGAN

It seems like yesterday that my fat world came crumbling down around me. We had just returned from a basketball tournament in Las Vegas in the summer of 2005 when my father-in-law uttered a one-liner that slapped me right in the face.

My wife Marissa and I were giving details to her parents of the trip and about our plans to go to Laguna Beach the next summer. That's when he said something that even silenced my chatty-Cathy wife.

"Robert, if you don't do something about your weight you won't see next summer." He was right, at nearing 530 pounds I was a heart attack waiting to happen. Days later he bought two life insurance policies.

The rest is history.

I celebrated my two-year "band-iversary" last Saturday, Sept. 20. It has been two years since I had bariatric weight loss surgery and it has been an unbelievable journey that allowed me to save my life and my marriage while regaining the self-confidence I once had.

It took years to finally see I was eating myself to an early burial. It took several eye-opening experiences to realize that one day I would literally be confined to my bed, or worse, not even wake up.

The same weekend as my father-in-law's reality check, my feet were so swollen from being on them for just an hour, I had to sit on the edge of the bathtub to take a shower. I got out in tears and Marissa stumbled across that emotional outburst.

The final straw in realizing something had to be done in a hurry came two months later at a Decatur High School basketball game. I was the entertainment for a small group of students at the exit doors who cracked a fat joke as I passed by.

That weekend I researched both bariatric Lap-Band and gastric bypass surgeries. I finally decided on the safest approach and combed the Metroplex for whom I believed would be the best doctor.

Some doctors did not operate on patients more than 500 pounds because of the risk. I found Dr. Curtis Mosier, and after a meeting with him, a nutritionist and a psychologist, they felt I could handle this procedure and change my eating habits in the months following surgery.

Surgery was scheduled for Sept. 20, 2006. It was four weeks after my final meeting with Mosier, and I couldn't wait.

After years of missing out on watching our boys at school functions and playing sports, I was ready to be a dad for the first time. Marissa and I were also ready for it as all we had done was argue on nearly a daily basis for the last three years.

I was never happy. I did my best to make sure those around me were not happy and it was taking its toll on Marissa as she considered moving home on several occasions until I could get things back together mentally.

This life-altering decision is one I would repeat in a heartbeat if I had it to do again. The last two years have been like no other. I have not had this much fun since college. In fact, I feel like I'm 21 again and getting younger.

I'm literally half the man I used to be, and that's a good thing. I have lost 269 pounds from my heaviest weight and 245 pounds in just two years since surgery.

I now tip the scales at 264, but physically I feel as light on my feet as an Olympic gymnast. But some of the best rewards are not measured by weight.

Four of my followers of the Losing Battle series have had Lap-Band surgery in the last 10 months. They asked questions, and I answered them.

All four have already lost more than 50 pounds, and they don't hesitate to ask questions when they have a problem or to share a milestone in their quest to win the battle of the bulge.

I lost an average of 16 pounds a month the first year following surgery. The eye-popping number dropped to an average of four pounds a month the last 12 months but I'm not about to complain since I'm just 45 pounds away from my goal of 220.

My sleep apnea is gone and I don't snore anymore. That's one of the many benefits that Marissa has enjoyed on my behalf.

Every day I realize the simple pleasures in life I have missed over the years. I can't ever get those days, months and years back, but I can make the most of the many years I have to come thanks to this journey.

Coaching my youngest boy, Brad, in basketball has been amazing. Playing football with him on the field before a high school game or at his grandparents' house is a blast.

Taking our oldest son out to buy clothes or having fun at an arcade at the mall reminds me of my grade school days.

Going out on the weekends with Marissa is a first in our marriage. Our date nights used to be limited to nights at a movie theater where we would watch two movies - three on a couple of visits - because I was out of public view and could hide in the dark. Thank goodness for those new arm rests that lift up so that I could squeeze in the whole truck.

Those were fun times, but we also knew it was the only fun we could have. We were definitely movie buffs two years ago - we watched an average of eight a month.

I don't think we have seen eight movies in the last two years. Now we spend our free nights in the Dallas and Fort Worth nightlife. We are going places for the first time, having fun like a teen-aged couple and making new friends almost on a weekly basis.

I could ramble on for pages and pages on the amazing changes. I will share more as we enter the final year of the Losing Battle series.

For those keeping score at home, I have not had a Lap-Band adjustment in 14 months, but one is needed. An adjustment is when my doctor adds saline to my Lap-Band to tighten its grip around the top of my stomach.

Those adjustments were free for the first year but now I have to cough up the $125 each time. That has not been worked into the Morgan budget, so I have gone without for the last year.

My appetite has increased in the meantime, which has led to many weeks with no weight loss. I guess everything's fine as long as the weight doesn't start going in a different direction. As long as I stay active I'm not worried about that happening.

I have completely avoided bread, soda, candy and pasta the last 24 months which I firmly believe is the reason for my success.

But I also refuse to look into a mirror unless it's to shave or brush my hair, and even at those times, I only pay attention to the task at hand and turn away as quickly as possible.

To this day, I don't see any change in my appearance. I still see a depressed, unmotivated, lazy man who is obsessed with food.

Only when I pull out my size 70 pants from the back of the closet do I realize the progress I have made. Even when I'm stopped on the street or at a ball game and complimented for my success, I sometimes think people are just being nice to me because of what they read in the newspaper.

An odd, but consistent happening when dining out plays a role in thinking I'm still living large. Try it and you will be surprised:

Since most restaurant meals are more than double the quantity I can consume, Marissa and I always share a meal. We always make sure she orders the meal so that it is served to her when it is brought to the table.

Like clockwork, our server always puts the food in front of me. Heck, we have even made it a point to put my tea and other items on the table right in front of me so there is no place to set a plate as a test.

Sure enough, the person who brings us our food will even try to clear the space in front of me to set the plate and then give Marissa the empty plate for her share.

Why is this? I did not order the food so why does the big guy get the grub? It's classic, but also kind of sad.

It's the life I have lived along with the small things like this that have opened my eyes to obesity. It's a world that no one will ever understand without living in it. The gestures, the jokes, the stares and the laughs behind our back are like little knives that slowly cut away at our self-esteem.

I'm thankful and lucky to be one of the few success stories after two years. However, my journey is not over, and it never will be.

I will continue to learn portion control and how to eat right. It's something that we all have to learn in a world where it is easy - and cheap - to drive through a fast-food chain and get a couple of 99-cent burgers and fries.

This is a road I can't afford to take again because I lost my dad at an early age. I want my kids to plan their graduations, not my funeral.

In the final year of the "A Losing Battle" series, Morgan will share his journey in trying to get to his goal weight of 220 pounds, struggling to lose in the final three months of the second year since surgery, issues regarding skin removal and many more experiences that will come along during his road to winning the fight with obesity.