NEW BEGINNING -Kathy Falcon releases the ashes of Judy McCandless in a pasture behind their rural home Sunday. Judy died last Aug. 3.

Above, Kathy prays with minister Maria Luna-Wolfe during the sacrament of baptism inside Kathy’s home.

Judy’s Story: One year later
Judy’s ashes are released at memorial service

by Brian Knox

It’s been one year since ovarian cancer took the life of Judy McCandless of Decatur. But it was obvious Sunday afternoon that she still lives on in the hearts of quite a few people.

Dozens of friends made the trek down the dusty county roads in eastern Wise County Sunday to the home of Kathy Falcon, Judy’s partner. It was a big day – not only would they gather to remember their friend and loved one, but they would witness one of Judy’s final wishes being carried out.

For Kathy, the moment would be a big step in the healing process. She was never far from Judy’s side, particularly in those final few days last August, and now she would have to let go once again.

It’s been a year since I’ve been back to “Whispering Hills,” the name Kathy and Judy gave their rural home. The name is a reference to ovarian cancer’s description as the “disease that whispers,” meaning that the signs of ovarian cancer often go unnoticed until it reaches an advanced stage.

Upon first glance, not much had changed as I drove up the driveway. The “party ribbons,” as one person had once described them, still fluttered on the fence out front, even though the colors had faded.

As I parked my truck, I noticed it starting to rock gently. The wind had suddenly become very strong as storm clouds gathered to the east. Kathy and some of her friends came out to the back porch to corral the plastic furniture that was now heading in the direction of the driveway.
After what seemed like months of dry weather, the smell of rain and the cooler temperatures were a welcome relief. But to some, the sudden change in the weather meant something even more.

“This is Judy,” Kathy said with a smile. “She loved storms.”

It was a sentiment echoed by many in attendance.

Kathy’s smiles and her laughter around her friends would turn more solemn when her thoughts returned to Judy, but she looked forward to fulfilling Judy’s final wish: to have her ashes scattered in the pasture behind their home at the side of their horse, Ahkmar.

The last year has not been easy for Kathy – overcoming the pain of losing someone you care deeply for never is. But Sunday offered an opportunity for a new start.

“It’s been difficult, but it will be better after today,” Kathy said shortly before the memorial service was to begin.

After Kathy saddled her horse, it was time to go inside to retrieve Judy’s ashes. Friends filled the living room and spilled into the dining room and kitchen as Kathy tearfully took the ashes out of a box.

“It’s time to let go,” minister Maria Luna-Wolfe said, “not of Judy, you all know that.”

As Kathy struggled to scoop a few ashes to keep, friends began to sing the Lord’s Prayer as a way of encouragement.

Finally, Kathy was ready to take Judy’s ashes to their final resting place. As lightning flashed in the distance with an occasional low rumble of thunder, Kathy rode Ahkmar behind her home and began the process of spreading Judy’s ashes.

At one point, the smell of the ashes startled Ahkmar and Kathy fell off. A few minutes later, after Kathy made sure her horse had calmed down, she climbed back on and continued her task.

As Kathy rode back to the stable and scattered the last of the ashes, another horse, Sugar, began to jump around where Kathy had scattered the ashes.

The memorial service continued inside the home. Kathy had decided to be baptized, yet another step in the process of moving forward with life.

“The journey begins today for a new life,” Luna-Wolfe said as she baptized Kathy. At the conclusion of the service, those in attendance took communion.

Several friends mentioned seeing hummingbirds flying just outside the window behind Kathy during the service. Everyone knew Judy loved hummingbirds.
After the service, Kathy appeared to be relieved.

“I’m good,” she said. “It’s done. I’m so glad.”

The pain didn’t end for Kathy on Sunday, but perhaps the moment is one step out of many in the healing process. With a house full of friends at “Whispering Hills,” it was apparent that Kathy does not have a shortage of supporters and encouragers to help her in that healing process.

And perhaps that summer storm that kicked up just as the memorial service was about to start was Judy’s whispering way of letting everyone know she is at peace.