*Spoiler alert: Edward’s chest and stomach were apparently heavily Photoshopped in the poster below. You will not see these abs on Edward in the movie.
Sniffle, sniffle. Someone quietly takes a ragged breath. Did I just hear crying? I try to discreetly look over my shoulder. On the screen, Bella has just told Jacob not to make her choose. “Because it would be him,” she said. “It’s always been him.” (Referring, of course, to Edward.)
I saw “New Moon” last night, and although I’m 100 percent Team Jacob, I couldn’t manage to squeeze out a tear. More often I found myself stifling giggles at the horrible computer-generated images and painful facial expressions of Robert Pattinson, aka Edward.
I went with several friends and their teenage daughters. The girls sat on one side of the theater engrossed in the love story, and we sat on other side of the theater, skeptical but interested nonetheless.
Going to the movie Sunday was a last minute decision, so I didn’t have time to do all of my research, ie. watching “Twilight.” Most people, including some of those with me, said this movie stuck more closely to the book.
I thought the movie was pretty general, in that , if I had not read the book, I don’t think I would have understood much of the movie. It’s hard to know, though because I was automatically filling in any holes with info from the book. One of my friends had not read the book and understood the story line, but someone in our group also sat next to her whispering explanations.
The CGI was a hoot. The first appearance of a CGI werewolf actually made one of my friends laugh out loud. I managed to contain my snickering but also thought the thing looked ridiculous. It emerges from the forest into the meadow when Laurent is about to kill Bella. But it looked like one of those horrid horse costumes worn by two people – the kind where one person is the head the other is the rear end and it looks like they have a sheet thrown over them – with a gigantic wolf head stuck on the front of it.
After their initial appearance, they looked more like wolves, but they still looked like an exercise in “cut and paste.”
The scene that did make me laugh out loud was when Bella tries out the motorcycle for the first time after Jacob rebuilds it. Bella on the motorcycle was funny because they only shot it from about mid-torso where you couldn’t see the bike. So that coupled with her weird movement made it look like she was riding a horse. When she wrecks, Jacob zooms to her side. Her head is bleeding, and he squats next to her making sure she is okay. Then (and this is the part that made me laugh) the shot goes from the two of them to a sudden pan of his ripped torso as he stands and dramatically pulls the T-shirt over his head, giving it to her to mop up blood. Hil-ar-ious.
Now if you’ve read the book, you know Charlie’s friend, Harry, has a heart attack and dies. It never really explains how or why in the book, but the movie added an interesting twist. In the movie, he and Charlie are in the forest hunting the wolves when Harry has an encounter with Victoria, the red-headed vampire. She lifts him off the ground, but as she does so, a werewolf leaps from the brush and chases her away. The experience scares Harry so badly that he has a heart attack and dies on the forest floor with Charlie at his side.
Another scene that seemed a bit different from the book took place with the Volturi. First of all, the scene wasn’t as scary in the movie as it was in the book. In fact, Bella is just mildly scared in the film, whereas in the book, she is terrified and shaking uncontrollably when they are finally released. Perhaps the strangest thing of all with the Volturi is this weird fight scene, which I do not recall from the book, where Edward throws awkward punches and gets his head slammed into marble floor. The whole thing was creepy and weird – but not scary.
Overall, not impressed, but it was what I expected. There is a built-in audience for these movies whether they’re good or bad. Just look at the numbers: According to studio estimates, the movie made $140.7 million in its first three days and earned a total of $258.8 million worldwide.
I’m sure there are points you’d like to debate. Maybe you thought the movie was great. Tell me why. A few more of my friends are going to see it tonight, and I’ll be anxious to get their opinions … even if they are Team Edward.