This week, Life threw me one of those curve balls, and I went down swinging. We’ve all been thrown these kinds of pitches; they come in many forms, from relationships, to parenting, to bank accounts, and to job status. I suppose without them life wouldn’t be Life. But, it sure does make it hard.
I’ve been processing the event all week, and in that processing, have been trying to overcome my deep disappointment, and utter devastation. Unfortunately, it’s just not working. One of my biggest faults is not being able to let things go–I let disappointment fester and dwell in my gut until I’m physically ill. I replay events over and over in my mind, tweeking and analyzing how things could have gone a different way, which I realize is a sickness, but unfortunately one for which there is not a prescription. My friends and family have rallied to support me in this strike out, urging me not to “take it personally.” And, I know they mean well, and are trying to fix my own broken-ness, but this was personal. Isn’t everything?–your family, your friends, your children, your education, your job, even your hobbies? However things start, shouldn’t they start out by being personal? To me, everything, my friends, my family, my job, and my Life are all personal. Every time I’m hit by one of these curve balls I resolve to be more detached, to watch the pitches at they come, to swing only at fast balls, and to hold for an occasional easy walk. But, I have a feeling those curve balls will get me every single time.
And, every single time it will be personal.