Currently, I am reading Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman, and it’s laying the foundation for what I feel will be a fantastic conversation with my book club next month. In fact, it might just be the subject of another blog post after I finish the book. Not only am I dissecting my daughter’s current and future social drama and stress, but I am revisiting a few of my own skeletons and finally dealing with them. Therapy. It might just be a good thing.
In telling a few girlfriends about the book today, I stressed what I thought would be an intense momversation with the topics on hand, and in saying that, I realized what a necessity that is for us moms. I have always felt the need to validate my own mothering insecurities with another mom. When my kids were tottling and potty training I sought out other moms that would promise to me that potty training was THE MOST DIFFICULT part of mothering, EVER. As the kids have grown, I have continued to crave that validation in many aspects of my life, but specifically this whole mothering aspect. I have an intense NEED to know that I am not alone in whatever crisis my children are putting me through, and I also have an intense NEED for other perspectives to assure me that the outcome will turn out ok. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be ok. My world needs to be ok. I like an ok world. Ok worlds are very, very lovely places to live.
I realize that not every mom or woman out there craves the connection and relationship that I do, but I think momversation is a good thing. I think it’s a positive thing. As my kids graduate from tottling and elementary school, I’m scared at the problems that will arise when we introduce Facebook, texting, and other technology into our lives. I know I will lean on my girlfriends for their mom advice, and continue this Momversation into those teenage years, perhaps indefinitely. I can’t imagine sending my children off to college without leaning on a few girlfriends and momversing with them to validate my empty nest insecurities. And then? When they are grown ups? How will I ever make it through that without Momversation.
It’s never-ending. And in sharing my little woes with you every week, I’m extending that Momversation beyond my own little Circle of Trust, and asking for even more validation (remember that connection I crave??) that everything will be ok. Because it will, right? You Moms have been there, and somehow, I will get through all the crap of raising the children, and they will become functioning adults without needing too much therapy…