My daughter is a nightowl, or rather, she wants to be a nightowl. I try to keep a pretty strict bedtime ritual around here, getting her settled in her room by 8:30. After a “one more minute,” she reads on her own, but we always have to have a conversation to enforce the actual sleeping part of the evening. My husband keeps asking me “when are we going to just let her decide when to go to sleep?” I don’t know. It’s not in the handbook. I remember my mom saying the word “bedtime” through middle school (I promise!), and I see middle schoolers everyday zoned out in the halls, red-eyed from late night texting and instant messaging, so I’m thinking this will be an issue for years to come. But, to those that have crossed this little threshold of bedtimes, when did you make the jump to let this one go?
If I remember correctly, the love and logic gurus say let them stay up until they go to sleep (as long as they are in their room and not bothering anyone). If they are tired in the morning, it will be their choice and their consequence. AFter a few days of that, they will adjust to make good choices on sleeping. Maybe its better to learn that now instead of during the junior high years?
I had a bedtime until I moved out of my parents house! I had to be in bed at 10pm all through High School! I was in sports so I usually ended up falling asleep before then anyway. Of course there were nights that I would be texting under my covers, but we could not have phone calls or be in the computer after 8:30pm and had to take showers and get ready for the next day. My parents were very strict but I wasn’t falling asleep in class either!
Love and Logic. I might need a refresher course on that one, but good tip. That’s what my husband has been wanting to do for a while now, it just makes me cringe to think of her awake at midnight.
Yay Jessica! Parenting means keeping kids safe and healthy; getting enough sleep is a health issue–immune systems falter when the body is tired or stressed. When children are old enough or independent enough to make their own choices, they can pick unhealthy bedtimes if they want to. Until then, parents should…parent.
Good question, I am the mother of 4 kids ages are 20, 13, 13 and 9. I did it by grade not age. Elementary bedtime was 8:30, middle school is 9:30. High school was 10:30pm, they need their sleep, and if they dont have set rules they dont take care of themselves.
My son is 8 1/2 and is very good at adding extra time to our bedtime routine. He always waits until I shut off the light and shut the door before he calls out, “Mom…” I have started making a mental note of these things that cannot wait another minute to be handled. I try to anticipate these requests and fill them before we get to the end of our routine. Sometimes when I’m really on my game, he gives me a sly grin and says, “Mom, how did you know?!” I give him the same sly grin and say, “Mom’s just know!”