“Back off the hammer, there’s an alligator ahead …”

Posted on 26. Apr, 2012 by

The newsroom hum includes the tones and chatter of the police scanner. It rarely transmits good news. Instead it’s usually carrying messages of distress, calls for help.

But this week the staple of medical emergencies, domestic disturbances and car accidents have been peppered with trucker talk. I’m not sure how or why we’re picking up this particular channel right now, but it’sĀ been a source of entertainment.

The main characters are Dirt Bag, Pookie and L.A. It sounds like it’s a dispatcher for some sort of trucking company, and this week he’s primarily been giving directions, explaining when to pull in or out of traffic or when to pull into the lot, that kind of thing.

The conversations have been funny and a welcome break during hectic press days, but the discussion Tuesday afternoon elicited howling laughter from our side of the building.

The trucker dispatcher came on and instructed someone to “go to Sam’s and get the big box of Depends.”

You might assume this was his personal shopping list, but not so. He proceeded to explain that all the drivers would be told to wear them.

He said something about “no bathrooms over there,” and “they can just wear’em all day and change when they get home.”

Disclaimer: At this point, we were all hyperventilating from laughing so hard, and it was hard to hear over the crackle of the scanner and our cackling.

But our interpretation was that the drivers were being authorized, and in fact instructed, to mess their pants while on the clock.

No wonder some of those guys drive so fast! Roll on.




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