OPINION COLUMNS

Into new movie rating territory

By Brian Knox | Published Saturday, August 11, 2018
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I love going to the movies, but when you have younger children, those trips to the theater often result in watching something in the animated category.

Let’s just say the review scale ranges from, “hey, that was pretty good” to “will this torture ever end?”

Brian Knox

For years, as coworkers talked about the latest summer blockbuster they had just seen, I could only offer reviews of movies such as “Lego Batman Movie” (not bad, actually) or “The Emoji Movie” (it’s as terrible as it sounds).

But after years of “G” or “PG” fare, we’ve started to dip our family toes into “PG-13” territory. Primarily, those movies fall into either a “Star Wars” or “Marvel comic movie” category.

Those movies are often shown at home, after I’ve already seen it, in case I need to skip certain scenes.

Last December, I took my Star Wars-loving 7-year-old to see “The Last Jedi.” It was the first time I’d taken him to see a PG-13-rated movie in a theater, so I was a little curious how this would work out.

What I failed to think about beforehand was that this would also be the longest movie he’d ever seen in a theater (thankfully most animated movies clock in at an hour-and-a-half or less.)

We were at one of those theaters with the reclining seats, so we settled in comfortably. His attention was focused on the movie early on, but as the time between light saber battles dragged on, I kept hearing the “whirring” sound being made by my son’s seat as he kept adjusting the angle of recline. At home, he could turn his attention to something else, but not in a theater.

By the end of the movie, he couldn’t wait to tell his sister and mom about his favorite part – not any light saber battle or stirring battle scene in outer space but rather the crystal fox-like creatures seen scurrying around on one of the planets toward the end of the movie.

Unfortunately, while we are wanting to wade carefully into PG-13 territory, the boy often wants to do a cannonball. Mom and Dad are currently getting the stink eye because we aren’t yet letting him watch any of the Jurassic Park movies.

“But, dinosaurs!”

“Sorry, kid.”

Our weekend movie plans include a return to the PG-rating zone of “Christopher Robin.” Who doesn’t love a movie about Winnie the Pooh?

Sorry “Mission Impossible: Fallout,” I guess I’ll have to catch you on video later.

Brian Knox is the Messenger’s special projects manager.

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