Santa responds to children’s essays

By Santa Claus | Published Wednesday, December 20, 2017

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Hello Wise County. Have you all been good this year? I’ll be visiting you soon.

The Wise County Messenger provided me with the Christmas essays written by local third graders. Some of those essays are featured in the newspaper’s Holiday Greetings 2017 special section. The paper was nice enough to provide me with an advance copy of Holiday Greetings as well.

I understand the section is also included in this issue of the paper you are ho, ho, ho-lding in your hand (or reading on your computer or other electronic device), so that works out nicely, doesn’t it?

Wise County certainly has some talented young writers and artists. As I read the essays, some made me smile, some made me laugh and some even brought a tear to my twinkling eyes.

I did notice a few trends in the essays that I’d like to address.

First, it seems quite a few of you are worried about the age of my reindeer and the need for replacements. Others suggested I add a few reindeer to be able to visit houses even more quickly.

While I can’t release too much information about our reindeer’s medical history due to HIPAA rules, I can assure you that all are in fine health. Prancer had a slight cold a few weeks ago, but he’s all better and ready to go.

I appreciate all the suggestions about what I could use to deliver presents should my reindeer be unable to fly. Helicopters, 18-wheelers, private jets, and, my favorite, a Lamborghini were all fine ideas.

Children were also asked who they would most like to spend the day with: Frosty, Mrs. Claus or my elves. It seemed the votes were pretty close, with the guy in the magic hat being the most popular person to hang out with.

I’d have to vote for Mrs. Claus, myself, since I don’t want to find myself on the naughty list!

Several children suggested giving me dogs as a Christmas gift. It’s a lovely thought, but I don’t think the elves would like them chewing on the toys they are making for all the good little girls and boys.

From the descriptions given of what the perfect Christmas tree looks like, I certainly can’t wait to see what lovely evergreens I’ll see while delivering gifts. I may have to wear some leftover solar eclipse glasses for one tree that was described as being so bright it would blind me.

Many children provided some very interesting recipes for cooking a turkey for Christmas dinner. Just remember kids, according to USDA guidelines, make sure the bird has reached a safe minimum internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit before serving. The only thing worse than getting coal for Christmas is salmonella.

Well, the press deadline for me to submit my column is approaching, and you know how important it is to me to stay on schedule. I’ll conclude by saying that reading the essays certainly put me in a holly jolly mood. I’m sure the readers of this newspaper will feel the same.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Santa Claus is a North Pole resident and seasonal guest columnist who enjoys traveling the world, eating cookies and milk and filling stockings hung by the chimney with care. He has spent many years in the list making, toy assembly and overnight delivery industries.

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