OPINION COLUMNS

Some things we talked about at the coffee shop (and some things I made up)

By Gerre Joiner | Published Saturday, April 18, 2015
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Today at the coffee shop we talked about a variety of things.

We talked about pills. This morning I looked up from my cup and saw a big blue “horse-pill” sized thing in Ross Mueller’s mouth. On his tongue. Looked kind of nuclear in there.

Gerre Joiner

Gerre Joiner

I didn’t say anything about what I’d seen. I turned my head to talk to my neighbor. I looked back at Ross, and in front of him on a napkin were nine pills of various sizes, shapes and colors.

I asked, “Ross, do you know what all these pills are for?”

His immediate answer was, “No.”

Before I finished quizzing him, I had discovered the following:

1. Ross knew the name of the medication but didn’t know why he was taking it.

2. He didn’t know the name of the medication but knew why he was taking it.

3. He didn’t know the name or the reason he was taking it.

This afternoon I asked the convocation the question (with Ross in attendance), “Do you guys know the names of your meds and the purpose of taking them?”

Most of the guys did know names/purposes. I’m thinking Ross is tapering off a little. He told me that one of the pills was for a “memory loss” condition. He couldn’t remember which pill it was, though. (I made up some of that story.)

  • We also talked about taxes. Most of us think we’re doing our fair share. Most of us don’t file early. We feel like the government ought to have to wait till the last minute to get our cash. A couple of our guys haven’t paid taxes since the ’80s. (I made up some of that story.)
  • We talked about tractor paint. Bobby Watts gave Ross some green (John Deere) paint several years ago. He’s just now used it up and is asking for more free paint. (I made up some of that story.)
  • We talked about health. Some of us are healthier than others of us. One of our guys told the story about a man who was so healthy, something kind of minor took his life. (I made up some of that story.)
  • We talked about horses. Not mentioning any names here, but one of our guys has a good-looking stud horse. He’s not a great-looking stud horse, in my opinion, but he has sired some of the most beautiful colts I’ve ever seen.

I mentioned this “average-looking-sire-great-looking-colts” feature to my horse owner friend and he noted his two daughters. He stopped just short of saying he (the daddy) was just average-looking, but he did mention how pretty the girls are. (I made up some of that story, but not much.)

  • We talked about fishing. One of our guys said, “I caught a 9-pound crappie.” Another man said, “I was bank fishing, and I got hung up on something. Struggled a while. Pulled out a Coleman lantern. The thing was still lit.”

The first fisherman said, “I’ll take 3 pounds off that fish if you’ll blow out the flame in that lantern.” (I made up some of that story.)

It occurred to me today that we entertain just about everyone in the building when we’re together. Two ladies were listening to every story we told today. I noticed that they laughed when we laughed. They groaned when we groaned.

They were from out of town, I think. (I’m not making that up.)

One more thing about my horse-owner friend: He has a pretty average-looking son. Looks just like his daddy. (I didn’t make up one bit of that one.)

Gerre Joiner is a semi-retired church musician and has lived in Decatur since 1999.

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