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The mad cow: story 1 and story 2

By Gerre Joiner | Published Saturday, February 23, 2013

One day at the coffee shop, Delbert White told a story of his Arkansas cousin who owned a mean cow.

The cousin always kept a truck, a tractor or a farm implement between himself and the “mad cow.” She would routinely offer to run over her owner.

One very cold (almost icy) day she managed to sneak herself into position between Delbert’s cousin and his truck. She started charging. His bluffs didn’t stop her. His only safety was found in the stock tank.

He stayed in the tank – neck-deep in cold water – for a couple of hours. On a few occasions, he tried to wade out of the tank. The cow chased him back. She followed him as far as she could wade. She backed up only when she could no longer touch the bottom of the tank.

The cow eventually lost interest. He waded out and ran, unnoticed by the demon bovine, to the truck which was parked a few hundred feet from the tank. Wet and cold … and mad, he vowed to sell the cow to the packers at his first opportunity.

But the Lord took care of the cow. Not long after the stock tank incident, she was taking refuge under a tree during a rainstorm. Lightning struck the tree and the cow … and the Lord took her home.

Somehow, that seems like the right way for that cow to die.

Friend J.L. was in the bunch that heard the original story. He later told the story to Ross, using the following key details:

  • Delbert’s cousin had a cow.
  • She was mean.
  • She chased the cousin into a river.
  • He stayed there for a few hours.
  • He waded out.
  • She chased him for four miles until he got to safety.

He then observed, “I think Delbert made that story up!”

After telling me the story using his original story and J.L.’s incorrect story, Delbert got his cell phone out, pointed to a name and a phone number in his contact list and said, “You can call my cousin in Arkansas, and he’ll tell you the same things I told you.”

I think I’ll call the guy in Arkansas, but I guess I’ll wait until J.L. can be there to listen.

Gerre Joiner is a semi-retired church musician and has lived in Decatur since 1999.

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