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Questions (good and bad) abound at the coffee shop

By Gerre Joiner | Published Saturday, May 11, 2013

Sometimes at the coffee shop, someone asks a question that prompts a good discussion.

Here are a few questions. Good discussion followed:

Prompted by the birth of a litter of coon dog pups, the following two questions were asked:

  • “How many teats does a female dog have?”
  • “Is that number always an even number?”
  • “In what year did the Aurora, Texas, Unidentified Flying Object appear, hit a windmill, and crash?”
  • “Where is the burial site of the inhabitants of the UFO?”
  • While we were talking about burial sites, someone asked, “Where is Machine Gun Kelly buried?”
  • “Did you know that people in Kentucky are drilling shallow oil wells with water well drilling equipment?”
  • “Does Massachusetts have the death penalty?”
  • “What country provides most of the world’s anhydrous ammonia?”
  • “How much (what percentage) anhydrous ammonia does the United States produce?”

The answers to the questions above were all answered when someone searched for and found the answer on the Internet.

By the way, one of our guys is so cheap, he read that McDonald’s had free wi-fi, so he went to the counter and asked for two.

Find below a list of questions that nobody has asked at the coffee shop.

  • Why do feet smell and noses run?
  • How can “slim chance” and “fat chance” mean the same thing?
  • What’s the difference between “quite a few” and “quite a lot”?
  • How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • Whose idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors and lawyers call what they do “practice”?
  • If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
  • If you drove your car at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would they work?
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • What do you call a defective Milk Dud?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?
  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety-one?
  • Why are pants, shorts and underwear sold as a pair when you only get one item?

Knowing the answers to these questions probably never saved anyone’s life, but somehow, as my father used to say, “You can’t never tell.”

Gerre Joiner is a semi-retired church musician and has lived in Decatur since 1999.

One Response to “Questions (good and bad) abound at the coffee shop”

  1. I’m still waiting to learn if it is okay for vegetarians to eat animal crackers. :)

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